The Difference
1. If a conservative doesn't like guns, they don't buy one.
If a liberal doesn't like guns, then no one should have one.
2. If a conservative is a vegetarian, they don't eat meat.
If a liberal is, they want to ban all meat products for
everyone.
how to defeat his enemy.
A liberal wonders how to surrender gracefully and
still look good.
4. If a conservative is homosexual, they quietly enjoy
their life.
If a liberal is homosexual, they loudly demand legislated
respect.
5. If a black man or Hispanic is conservative, they see
themselves as independently successful.
Their liberal counterparts see themselves as victims in
need of government protection.
6. If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about
how to better his situation.
A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.
7. If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he
switches channels.
Liberals demand that those they don't like be shut down.
8. If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to
church.
A liberal wants all churches to be silenced.
9. If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes
about shopping for it, or may choose a job that
provides it.
A liberal demands that his neighbors pay for his.
(Editors Note: Why do liberals make you see red?)
The Ant and the Grasshopper
This one is a little different... Two Different Versions! Two Different Morals!
OLD VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!
MODERN VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.
CBS, NBC , PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast.
How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'
Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant 's house where the news stations film the group singing, 'We shall overcome.' Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.
Nancy Pelosi & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.
Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer.
The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow.
The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be VERY careful how you vote in 2010
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Cash for Clunkers Cost Benefit Analysis
A bored statistician has been busy again.
A vehicle at 15 mpg and 12,000 miles per year uses 800 gallons a year of gasoline. A vehicle at 25 mpg and 12,000 miles per year uses 480 gallons a year. So, getting rid of each average clunker will reduce US gasoline consumption by 320 gallons per year.
They claim 700,000 vehicles – so that's 224 million gallons / year
That equates to a bit over 5 million barrels of oil.
5 million barrels of oil is about 1/4 of one day's US consumption.
And, 5 million barrels of oil costs about $350 million dollars at $75/bbl.
So, we all contributed to spending $3 billion to save $350 million.
AND THESE CLOWNS WANT TO RUN OUR HEALTH CARE???
